30.

frustrated :'(
i dont care if people care to read this or not. so.. okay here i go .

saya sangat lah kecewa,tidak tahu kecewa pada siapa.mungkin pada diri sendiri,mungkin terhadap kaum sendiri, atau mungkin pada sesetengah orang yang memandang rendah terhadap... gosh , feel like crying right now :'( i already am.
yes people,yes! im going to IPTS,private school , segi university to be exact.is there a problem? huh?! astaghfirullah,anis bawak bersabar ;(
i mean sometimes people tend to say that ipts is for left over kidswho cant get through ipta.*menda aku ckp ni* maksudnya senanng saja.take me as a very simple example.

im not doing that good in spm,i admit it.but im not that suck in studies.unfortunately,UPU tidak diterima.oleh itu, mau tak mau, i have to find private college to further my studies.so yeah,im a segi student.once again, do you have a problem with that?!me going to private college??

there's specific reason why i am so sad/frustrated/angry with no-one right now.here's example of the true conversation.

A: kakak kau belajar dekat mana?
B: kat segi.
A: yeke? bukan dia pandai ke?

PANG!! hello B!! what do you mean,orang2 yang pergi ipta tu adalah org2 pandai dan orng macam saya niorang yang bodoh??even A asked me, segi tu skula budak bodoh ke? i was like wtfh?????! tgk la pikiran orang kita . astaghfirullah,aku sedih gila ni ='( here's another conversation :

X: masuk sekolah mana?
Y:dekat2 sini je, dekat segi,senang ulang alik.
X:oo yeke, ingatkan pergi university mana2

Ya allah, aku tau aku tak segenius mereka2 yang akan ke russia,australia,and egypt tu but people,people love to judge even the person is our relative :'(
my mom said, orang macam tulah.asal tak masuk ipta je,dia ingat kita bodoh.you have to show them,prove them wrong.
thanks mummy,im soory i let you down before.tapi ibu still bagi semangat.ibu cakap lagi, no matter where you study its still the same.thank you :')

well so you know why i said,wah bestnya korunk pergi ipta/matrix.hanya Tuhan saja tahu perasan saya sekarang
and untuk sedapkan hati,i told to myself,babe dont worry.at least u belajar dekat ipts,u tak hipokrit.u guys know whta it means.thats all.

ps-thegirlnextdoorwillstudyhardtoprovethemwrongandillbebetterthentheminsyaallah