19.

i dont know how to start this. im suppose to update about my kelly clarkson experience and how April did a very well done job to me. April makes me alive :) BUT not May.May buat kan saya berfikir and termenung 24/7. well, not exactly.okay, so i'm giving out the list that keep bothering me lately.

#1 i wan meatball ikea!frozen yogurt from j.co ,my mom's yee mee and chicken cordon blue *betul ke spelling* form secret recipe. and yes yes, semua ni dah selalu makan but who cares. and nak makan di mache again. da 2 tahun xmakan di sana :'(

#2 err im thinking about food more than im thinking of my studies?thats weird :\ ok macam mana nak start? err okay, UPU tak dapat.obviously! so, UPU tak dapat, i applied again. sedih yang tak terhingga. i can see my parents frustrated face when i told them about this :'( so apply for the second time ni, anis ambil :
asasi inggeris-UIA
diploma TESL-UDM
since asasi TESL and mass comm in UITM sudah tutup *interview* . so hampa tu jangan cakap la eh. :'( TAPI, if couldnt get through jugak, im going to segi or USCI. taking my dream course :)

#3 okay this one pulak bukan about ketidakpuashatian , okay, maybe it is. im just dont understand why orang yang dapat matrix, jugak dapat UPU . and ada yang tak dapat langsung. yang dua2 tak dapat tu jangan cerita la. no offence to readers. this is what i think. and saya sungguh sedih bila tengok orang in dilemma, but me???? i have nothing to do! i mean should i be in dilemma sebab tak dapat UPU? or tak apply matrix ( mrmang tak nak pun). no reason kan????????? okay tengah marah ni. next!

#4 i need money. nak bayar handphone. buy things for mothers day. last month, i'd about RM250 and above. and semua habis :( shopping tak ingat.dekat concert beli macam2 now im broke.thanks alot anis.

#5 problem with my BFF AGAIN. i really dont know how to put this. but im going to rewrite (????) the conversation that we had 30 minutes earlier. actually, nak bagi tu benda ni pada someone. tapi :'(
note- mata masih bengkak.

Me (AK) -stands for anis khunnie <3
Him (HH) - tak nak elaborate

AK: Hey :
HH: Allaikumsalamwarahmatullahhiwabarakatuh :-h
AK: Asslamualaikum. : kau marah aku ke? :
HH: asal tanya mcm2? :-
AK: Hmm..
HH: 2 je? :-
AK: aku yang tanya.kau marah aku ke?
HH: but, before that, kenapa kau tny soalan macm tu?
AK: kay, thanks for answering.tu je yang aku nak tau
HH: mana jawapan aku?

AK: tadi tu.dah.tu je aku nak tau. *******, aku tanya je kan.tapi apa yang aku dapatsoalan dari kau balik.im just asking but your answer is questioning me back.so takpela.aku nak tau je

HH: tak salah kan kalau kau jawab soalan tu dulu

AK: im tring to be mature here.just keep the question to yourself.im done

HH: yela. ko da dewasa sgt.aku ckp x guna. apa aku cakap sume tipu bohong belaka.terpulang la.kalo kwn2 ko 2 le dorg ko.fine.aku redha.

AK: *****, aku takde mood sekarang ni .aku just nak tau kenapa je.salah aku ke? salah ke aku sampai dah lama tak bertegur?

HH: terpulang la.ikut kn la mood ko 2.aku xde mood pun.xpernah sekali pun aku tolak ko ketepi.xpernah wpun sekali aku layan kau macam *****.aku ttp layan ko sepenuh hati.sbb ko kwn baik aku.kalo btol la ko kwn baik aku selamaya, ko xkn kata kan bnda mcm tu kt aku mlm tu.aku manusia.luar aku gelak.dlm apa kau tau.retak seribu hati aku.& ko mcm biasa dgn tanpa rasa bersalah wt mcm xd pape berlaku.fine.aku redha.

AK: aku xtau apa yang kau ckp ni,tp kalau ko ckp pasal aku gtau yg jgn sibuk hal kwn aku kt FB tu aku phm.i'd use a very harsh word to my own bestfriend.but dont u worry.aku xpeduli semua tu da.im not gonna social networking anymore.

HH: sape aku nak halang kau. nak halang social life ko.aku xde hak nye. terpulag kt kau.hidup ko.ko nak kwn ngn sape pun,rapat ngn sape pun,ko suka sape pun,aku xde hak nak masuk campur.

AK: skrg aku nak bgtau pun salah ke?aku tny tadi pun tak xberjawab.sampai kelain pulak.cmnilah aku mintak maaf sebab selama ni aku mmg selalu menyusahkan n menyakitkan hati kau.aku mintak maaf atas kesilapan aku sejak aku kenal kau.n thanks for evrything that u have done.thats all.kau akn berjaya dlm hidup nnt.insyaallah.kay,so long.

HH: aku xpernah anggap ko beban dlm hidup aku.just terkilan.memang benda ni akn berlarutan.mcm aku da kata, dah jumpa baru lama di biar.baru aku tau apa camey and dyana rasa bila ko jumpa elida.

AK: ha?elida?camey n dyana are my bff too.aku jumpa elida salah ke?dulu aku ada ajak dyana and camey.tp apa dorg ckp,dia bkn jenis yg kuar2, and camey pulak ada alasan.ada aku terkilan?and dulu camey ada ajak kuar,tp ada dia sebut nama aku?aku gtau baru dia ingt.and now aku kuar ngn elida yang xnyk songeh ni bersalah?u dunno how i feel right now.

HH: ubah la nis. ubah la.aku xmara kau.xbenci kau.just aku mmg terkilan ngn kata2 kau.aku nk kau tny sume kwn2 ko.semua.

AK: ****, aku mintak maaf,tu je yg mampu aku cakap.

HH: aku da tau perangai ko cmne.aku da msk ngn perangai ko.last aku tny, apa erti kawan baik?

AK: kawan baik : no matter how the realtionship goes,they will remain together at the end of the journey

HH: tolong jgn buat wn baik ko mcm tunggul.bila perlu,guna.bila xperlu,kau wat dek.by mean ALL kawan baik lama kau.masih kenal ke siapa?

AK: ****, teruk sgt ke aku ni?siapa kwn baik aku yg mengadu kt kau tu?teruk sgt ke aku?smpai kau ckp cmtu?

HH: ko boleh x jgn melenting kalo aku cakap?xd pun yg ngadu.aku xnk bnd yg jd kt aku,jdi kt yg lain.

AK: again,i was just asking u a simple questionand this is what i get.

HH: nis, aku tgh sabar ni.tolong jgn melenting.aku ckp utk perigtn kau shj.

AK: aku mintak maaf

HH: selain tu apa lagi ko nk kata?

AK: mintak maaf.

and he sleeps.okay, i cried soo hard. mata bengkak, hidung sumbat :'( i mean, teruk sangat ke this little girl?im the person who doesnt appreiciate friendship? i texted you because i want to get back with you.and this is what i get.BROKEN HEARTED. thank you so much my friend.
to all who read this (ALL) thank you so much. but what should i do ? :"(

ps. sorry this new update is a bit long and emo.i cant help myself.i just need someone to rely on :'( thats all.i've lost my BFF :'(